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Not “fitting in” with the family usually means not being accepted by the family for going against the family rules, questioning certain practices or simply for being an individual.
You are welcome to walk up the hill and maybe you will find the historical sites dating back to the bronze age.Being defined that way created a default mode where I was always examining ME and not “them” which served a great purpose for abusers and controllers.Publically, these things were said to discredit me. Why do those foundations get laid in by the controllers in the first place. I was defined as moody and sullen, which may have been true, but why was I moody and sullen?The reasons for the fact that I was withdrawn were never addressed but rather this information was used against me as the proof that something was “wrong” with me.And all this was done long before I ever rebelled or disclosed any of the dysfunction going on in my family.